kinda wasnt expecting you to actually say youd wanna marry me but it meant so much youve been heaps wonderful and just so lovely as a friend. thank you. and i know it wasnt easy for you stringing your words but you did. and. youll always be in my life if you choose to stay thats my promise to you.
thank you.

haven't been on here for ages have i.
well.
not that anyone cares if im alive or.

haha ive been fine i guess. same old. been on tumblr heaps. still in love with the same person. nothing new. feeling shit. but being back in singapore has kinda helped a little. dont hang much but its so good to be back with mark and somen. just the only two people i kinda need right now. and ain and her family. thats all i need really.
or maybe.
i wished some people could rack off.
yeah.
idk.
i miss mark and somen so much since theyre on holidays in cambodia and the us right now. christmas never felt more lonesome.

last night was pree good but. dhuks and rishi came over with a couple of esthers mates. drank a little, small talks, had fun. i miss them so much. and honestly. it kills to see dhukhi so upset probs over a girl. i just wish he could find someone else and just be happy. and i wish i could say the same for myself. but. he is such a lovely kid. and rishi and esther are amazing friends.
-
just wish somen and mark would come back quick.
merry christmas.
imydh.
<3

i miss you and i miss you and you make me want to die get the fuck out of my mind.

just how long more till i become a memory Dhavie?

we met on a game and he said “hi” and we started a conversation. got my skype and spoke everyday. asked for my number and he’d text while he was at school.
we fell in love.i would have indirect posts about him on my blogger. he liked me too except he wasn’t sure if i liked him. he stalked me and eventually found my blog.he lived in a different state.said he wouldn’t ever hurt me.we broke up because he couldn’t stand the distance.funny how i love him so much when we met on a fucking game.we no longer talk to each other.and that is killing me.i wake up with him being the first thing on my mind. also the last when i go to bed.i love you so much.i promised to love him forever.silly as it sounds, i’m keeping that promise.but you’re killing me Dhavie.

the lump in my throat builds up gradually

knowing how things won't ever be the same again

the beating and horrifying thrashing i get within me

just by browsing through the pictures of you

it's all i have that could remind me of you

because i don't think you and i would ever speak

the chills to know everything beautiful dies

i used to feel like a princess
princesses get everything they want and i got that one thing i never had
someone to make my life worth living and i also learnt to love right and to pick myself up
but then everything crumbled upon me and my ratchet life again(: